


A Disarming Proposal

by pagerunner



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagerunner/pseuds/pagerunner
Summary: Upon their return from Pandemonium, Vex and Percy ponder what to do with the contents of a certain bag of colding.So to speak.Spoilers for The Search for Grog.





	A Disarming Proposal

In the aftermath of Pandemonium, no matter how exhausted Vex may have been, she found herself far too keyed up to sleep.

The battle, after all, had been incredible. The surprise and shock of it all had been infuriating, but it had also been invigorating. And even after it was over, there were still things to tend to, step by step by step. Seeing after Trinket. Sorting out her weapons, shedding her armor. Some of that happened straight away in her house’s entry hall, with the carelessness born of knowing that she did have staff who could clean it up. She reminded herself to do something nice for them tomorrow in exchange.

First, though, she had to get the worst of Pandemonium’s sands out of her hair. Also, considering a certain bag she carried and its questionable cargo, she had to see what had become of Percy’s arm.

At least those two things could be handled at the same time, and Vex was determined, no matter how tired she was, to make the best of it.

“I still cannot believe Grog got us into this,” Percy said, after showering off most of the day’s grime. Vex remained grateful that she’d enlisted Tary to engineer magically heated water spigots for occasions such as these. As much as she appreciated a good bath, she’d never seen the appeal of marinating in the worst of the mess. “We should have confiscated those cards months ago.”

“Well, I tried,” Vex reminded him, from beneath the same wide, waterfall-like cascade. “And then I felt guilty about it. And then…this.” She paused. “Lesson learned? Never feel guilty about anything again.”

“Perish the thought,” Percy said under his breath, but she could hear the wry humor in it.

Vex tilted her head back under the spray, smoothing her hair back, before she turned to look Percy over. She hummed low in her throat as she did. It was hard not to admire the sight of him, no matter how accustomed she was to it by now. She watched the water pouring over his shoulders, the rivulets running down his arms, and at last she said, “Turn around, darling. Let me see you.”

His smile tilted. “I don’t think there’s much that you can’t see right now.”

She gestured a prompt. “Your _arm_ , Percy. Close up.”

He looked down at himself, studying both hands with an unusual air of self-consciousness. Then he faced her, with some reluctance. Vex adjusted the faucet, lightening the spray, and took both of his hands in hers.

The first thing she noticed was the lack of scars.

His right arm looked as it always had, his hand nicked and marked from work— _so unlike a noble’s hands,_ she thought, oddly proud—and his skin criss-crossed with the faint remains of wounds. The left was another story. Keyleth’s spell had restored it to full strength, and his wedding ring was back in place, so no one would have detected any change at a cursory inspection. But Vex was intimately familiar, so she saw every difference. The old, odd burn mark on his left shoulder: gone. The fingernail that he’d torn yesterday, and waved her off of healing: fully mended. She ran her own fingertips across the pads of his, and felt only smooth, soft skin.

Percy, realizing what she was doing, murmured, “I’m not looking forward to building up those calluses again.”

“Could be worse,” she said lightly, still touching him. “It could have been your right arm. You’d have to get your Slayer’s Take brand again.”

“I think I’d be willing to forego ongoing membership if it meant skipping that particular experience.”

“Well, at least now we know that if we _did_ go hunting some horrible beastie that decided to gnaw on you again, Keyleth is a handy person to have around.” She paused, then giggled a bit too loudly. “ _Handy._ ”

“All right,” said Percy. “You are in dire need of sleep.”

Vex tipped her face up to his. He swayed slightly closer, mostly on instinct. “Not until I’m certain that those clever fingers are in tip-top condition.”

Percy’s eyebrow arched. “The battle wasn’t proof enough of that?”

“Oh, well. Of course you were magnificent, darling. But I think as your wife I’m also allowed a little more of a personal demonstration.”

He didn’t respond to the flirtation. A different thought had obviously crossed his mind. “And the opportunity to confirm if your husband’s new arm really is an inch shorter now, I’m sure."

“I was just teasing about that, darling. It looks fine. And that wouldn’t ever matter to me anyway.” She adjusted the water again, then stood close under the warm, relaxing spray. “For right now…I think I just want to let off some steam.”

“That,” Percy said, “can be arranged.”

She kissed him, slowly and thoroughly, already alight at the pressure of his water-sleek body against hers. When he raised his hand—the new one, she noted—to tangle in her hair and hold her close, it felt just as good as it always had.

Vex moaned softly, focusing on the feeling as he dragged his hand down her neck and massaged gently at her hairline. Some of the tension she’d still been carrying began to ebb away. Sensing what she was responding to, Percy let the kiss trail off so that he could concentrate on touching the rest of her. Vex tilted her head to one side, giving him every excuse to kiss the curve of her neck while he was at it. Smart boy that he was, he took the hint.

Vex let herself enjoy the sensations for a moment before she turned within the circle of his arms, clasping his hands with hers and starting to guide their paths across her body.

“So far,” she murmured, tugging his left hand up over one breast, “so very, very good.”

Percy caught his breath. So did she, at the unusually soft sensation of his fingertips teasing at her nipple. The touch remained soft until he managed to get just enough freedom of movement to pinch her.

“Percy!” she exclaimed as she jolted with the sudden, pleasurable shock. She let go to reach back and swat his hip. “I did not give you a prompt to do _that._ ”

“No,” he admitted, his breath warm against her ear. “But I wagered you’d appreciate the effects.”

She did, although she wasn’t going to say so yet. She just wriggled in a way she suspected he’d appreciate, too, and was rewarded with the distinct press of his erection against her back. Vex smirked.

“You know what else I keep thinking about?” she said conversationally, while she got back to encouraging his fondling.

“What’s that, dear?”

“A certain suggestion,” she said, drawing it out. “About what we could do with your old arm.”

Percy went briefly still. Vex almost wished she could see his face just now. “I was a bit distracted with pain at the time, to be perfectly fair. Which suggestion was that?”

She tilted her head back against his shoulder. “Growing a whole new you,” she said blithely. “A double, regenerated from your original limb. Your copy in every way.”

His reply was dry. “One of me seems like more than enough trouble for the world, don’t you think?”

She turned her head enough to say the next thing into his ear. “I don’t know. It sounds like just enough trouble for me.”

Percy looked down at her. All of her. All of him, meanwhile, was evidently interested in the notion, no matter how much he was claiming to protest. Vex stepped into his silence, not to mention his personal space, and swiveled far enough around to drape her arms around his shoulders again.

“Think about it,” she said. “You. Me. You again. One in front, one behind…”

Color rose in his face, and she felt his breathing kick up faster. So did hers, to be honest. The idea of being pressed between two copies of Percy, both of them taking her at once… She flushed, showing more of a reaction than she’d really meant to give away. She could always blame that on the heat still rising in the room, of course.

 _Or,_ she thought, _I could just lay it all out. Watch how he reacts._

She ran her fingers up and down his neck this time and told him, “It would feel _extraordinary,_ being with two of you. As good as you already are.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he conceded. Her smile stretched wider.

“And imagine it. Two of you devoted to pleasuring me at once? You’d never run out of hands. Really, there are no drawbacks here.” She felt heat throb through her at the thought. She also knew, however, that she had to up the ante for him. “It’s not all about me, either. No matter how much I’d be getting out of it.”

“Isn’t it, though?”

“Of course not. Not when you could watch yourself doing it.”

Appealing to his vanity, just as she’d suspected, also got her everywhere. Images were obviously flashing across his mind already. Vex smirked at that and went for the kill.

“Besides,” she murmured, “that isn’t the _only_ thing you could do with yourself.”

Percy’s eyes widened. “You did not just…”

“Oh, of course I just. I mean, _I’d_ certainly fuck myself, given the chance. I’m hot as hell. Who would blame me?”

His cock gave an incredibly gratifying twitch. “I…cannot possibly argue with that.”

“And you, darling. Look at you.” She stepped back, as much as she didn’t want to let go of him, and took in the display: Percy’s whole body glistening from the water, his muscles so clearly defined, his cock flushed and distinctly, as he’d just proven, hard. Vex made a fanning-herself gesture that was only half in jest. “Imagine it. Two of you, just alike, together…”

The idea’s appeal had obviously struck him, too. Being Percy, though, he finally overthought it. “And here I thought you’d been fourscore against the idea of twins together,” he said sardonically, before realizing he shouldn’t have brought that up. “Fuck…”

Vex reflexively flinched, but waved it off, not wanting to go down that road. “This is different,” she said, fortunately in truth. “It’s just masturbation, really. Incredibly immersive masturbation.”

“I suppose that’s true. From a deeply strange perspective.”

“It’s also got one very distinct advantage.” She winked at him, stepping slowly closer—and then around him. She let her fingers trail down his spine, going lower and lower until she’d reached the small of his back, hinting at going lower still. “I think you can imagine what that might be.”

It actually took a second. Then he made a strange little sound, one infused with no small amount of desire. Vex chuckled and gave his backside a little, approving pat. “There you go.”

“Vex,” he said hoarsely. She smirked again, even knowing he couldn’t see her do it. “Is this something _you’ve_ been imagining?”

“What?” she said, deceptively innocently. “Watching you fuck yourself senseless? Seeing you take merciless control _and_ be driven to gasping, helpless, erotic surrender all at once?”

His voice cracked on a word, almost failing entirely. “Dear gods.”

“Mmm-hmm. I think both of us would enjoy that particular scenario.”

“I...don’t think you’re wrong.”

“Am I ever?” She went up on tiptoes, gave his neck a little love bite, then whispered into his ear, “The only question is which position you’d rather be in first.”

Percy’s breath went audibly ragged, and his hips twitched in an incredibly telling way. Vex reached back, covertly slicked her fingers up with the soap, and said, “Of course, I am getting ahead of myself. We’d have all sorts of complicated arcane work to do to make such a thing possible. I think it’s worth keeping that arm around for such an eventuality, though, don’t you think?”

“As macabre as the notion may be,” Percy said haltingly, “perhaps we should…well. It’s. We can deal with that question later.”

Vex noticed that despite his hesitation, he hadn’t dismissed it entirely. She hid a distinct grin. Then she cocked her hip and said, “Meanwhile.” She watched him turn to look her over again. “We have some unresolved tension to…well. Resolve.”

“And how do you propose to do that?”

She made a show of studying her hand. “I can do my best to stand as proxy for your not-yet-present double,” she offered languidly. “Whichever way you’d like to go about that. Although I have my suspicions already.”

She extended her fingers, holding them up so that he could see. Percy swallowed hard, evidently realizing what she’d done. “You know I always trust your instincts,” he said, which in no way whatsoever concealed the fact that this was precisely his wish anyway. She smirked with satisfaction.

“I think we can call that step one, then.” Vex lifted her chin. “And afterwards, you can pay me back with the full demonstration of your dexterity that _I_ asked for. It’s a trade in kind, after all.”

“That…sounds only fair.”

“All right, then.” She beckoned him closer. “Shall we?”

He didn't even speak. He just came obediently closer, which was only fitting, really. If everything went as she was planning, he’d be coming again soon enough.

Over the next couple hours, in fact, both of them did, multiple times and in multiple ways. They soon moved from the shower to the bed, then from the bed to the wall, from the wall to the floor and back again. Vex was determined to indulge every bit of her craving for something good after all of this, and Percy—whose new arm proved entirely up to the task, even if it wasn’t the appendage she was having the _most_ fun with, truth be told—came right along for the ride. In the end, they both spent themselves so satisfyingly that even after all the madness of Pandemonium, both of them were able to sleep soundly at last.

And all the while, Vex’s bag remained at the foot of the bed, its cargo and the fantasies it sparked both held safely in stasis until they were needed again.

Maybe, Vex thought as she drifted off, it would all come in handy someday after all.


End file.
